March 27, 2009

Oh the Joys of Motherhood

Have you heard about the new book It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita by Heather Armstrong? Heather Armstrong also writes the popular blog - Dooce. Which is quite hilarious by the way- her about me section is a must read!

But back to her book- here is what "they" are saying about it.

"Heather tells, with trademark wit, the heartfelt, unrelentingly honest story of her battle with postpartum depression and all the other minor details of pregnancy and motherhood that no one cares to mention. Like how boring it can be to care for someone whose primary means of communication is through her bowels. And how long it can possibly take to reconvene the procedure that got you into this whole parenthood mess in the first place. And how you sometimes think you can't possibly go five more minutes without breathing in that utterly irresistible and totally redeemable fresh baby smell.

It Sucked and Then I Cried is a brave cautionary tale about crossing over that invisible line to the other side (the parenting side), where everything changes and it only gets worse. But most of all, it's a celebration of a love so big it can break your heart into a million pieces."

I haven't had the pleasure of reading it yet but I know I will love this book. I joke that no one tells you how boring, exhausting and thankless motherhood is. You know the saying, there is a truth to every joke- so true, so true.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother but I there are days when I don't love it so much. Surviving Ozzie's colic, feeding issues and sleep issues (still not solved, improved but not solved) make more not so much days than I wish to admit.

Let's face it motherhood deprives me of many things I used to love (sleep or lack there of it being the ultimate sacrifice) and sometimes I resent it. And just when I feel I am at my wits end Ozzie does something amazing that reminds me how blessed I am to be his mother.

This little creature thinks I'm the best thing on earth and his smile melts my heart instantly.

For every moment that I want to rip out my hair (or *dare I say it* Ozzie's hair sometimes) I also have moments of a love so deep it's indescribable. The dichotomy of loving and resenting motherhood simultaneously is an interesting experience. One I never knew I'd have. Do fathers feel this way too I wonder?

Motherhood- who knew? And why doesn't anyone tell us before we have children?

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